Have you ever doubted Gods existence? Have you ever had instances where you thought you might have gotten it wrong? I have. I know that’s not very popular to say, especially coming from a minister’s wife, but it’s the truth.
From a young age, I’ve had God in my life. Both homes I grew up in went to church, prayed at meals, and studied scripture. I never had the chance to choose otherwise, and in all honesty, the idea of not having church or God in my life scared the mess out of me. Even in college I stayed “faithful” by attending a Christian university, maintained jobs with Christian owners, and attended local college ministries. Sheltered is an understatement.
You’d think I’d have this absolute belief thing down by now, right? It makes me feel small to think that I have doubts on occasion. But then God steps in…
Desperate times call for seeking the Savior, literally. At least, that’s what this father did. In Mark 9 we see a father who will stop at nothing to save his child, even going to the feet of a man hated by the religious officials. His actions branded him a rebel as well and changed his faith, family, and circle of friends forever. At this point, I think we forget, Jesus wasn’t the Messiah. Well, not to people outside his circle of apostles. At this point, to most people, He’s at best, a gifted miracle worker and revolutionist. These people had no idea who they were in the presence of. But let’s not be too harsh on them. After all, we have the whole story, they on the other hand, were the story. I’d be willing to bet that if you or I were in that position, we’d be pretty skeptical and doubtful. None of that mattered though. This father had one thing on his mind: heal my son.
Jesus knew this. The father knew this. And the most honest conversation ensued… “’How long has this been happening to him?” Jesus asked his father. “From childhood,” he said. “And many times, it has thrown him into fire or water to destroy him. But if You can do anything, have compassion on us and help us.” Then Jesus said to him, “’If You can’? Everything is possible to the one who believes.” Immediately the father of the boy cried out, “I do believe! Help my unbelief.”’ Mark 9:21-24
Wow. I wish we were that honest with each other. I wish we didn’t feel embarrassed or scared to say “I love Jesus, but sometimes I doubt! Help!” You see, the beauty about church, fellowship, and being around other Christians isn’t about having it all together or faking it until we do. It’s about honesty. It’s about wrestling together with doubts, fears, victories, and defeats. May we be honest, pure, and passionate about our doubts and help others who struggle as well. Lord, help my unbelief and use me to help others who feel the same.